Sunday, January 22, 2017

March 22nd results will be?

Boyfriend vs Girlfriend, fit challenge.

He asked if we should compete, and I said yes.

We will see who has a six pack or is closest to having one AND who loses, at least 5 pounds.

It was the funniest thing ever when we were taking pictures of our bodies for a before & after.

We were dieing of laughter. He cracks me up, he is so funny!!!!

When he makes me laugh I think.....THIS IS WHY I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!!

No one can make me laugh the way he does.

Our challenge ends MARCH 22.

The loser, plans something really special for the winner:]

He should lose on purpose don't you think? So he can purposely do something really awesome for me. haha..

BUT! honestly,
Everyday he makes it a special day for me. He says..." what would you like to do?" and.."what would you like to eat?"....

EVEN THOUGH...most of the time I go..." iunno"...or.... I shrug iunno. hahaha.

2 LOVES

A Good day with my love!

:D



Friday, January 20, 2017

Yelawolf- Till it's gone

There should be a salon for introverts who rather not talk to anyone...

SO!

I didn't go to the salon today.

My sister didn't want to go...I assume the heavy rain outside made her feel lazy.

:[

It would have been a perfect day though. My mom was off today, and she could have taken
care of Emmitt while we both got our hair done.

Oh well!

Maybe next week?...Maybe i'll have to go alone.

I don't want to go alone...hah....

I wanted Liz to go, so they can chat with her instead- and leave me alone.

I don't wanna chat with the person doing my hair?...like...no...

That's the only thing holding me back from going alone. The fact, that a conversation might start up.

I don't wanna talk to ANYONE :O!

I get freaked out with the thought of talking.

I don't want to talk about myself, or get to know the person.

Can they just do my hair, without talking at all....? haha...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My perfect salon day...would be silence, while I'm feeling relaxed.

BUT....ITS A SALON! :'(

They ask like..." How are yah?"...or like..." so do you like blah blah blah?"
" so how often do you get your hair cut?"..." oh wow, your hair is long...how do you manage it?"
" Geez...it's been raining a lot hasn't it?"

......Why? why.....

YAY hormones ONLY

I thought, getting that chip injection would have given me crazy

hormones by now?

But- NO! :)

My sister said...." Your hormones will go crazy the first month. You will be in crazy mood swings" and yadda-ladda....

But, no? I haven't hit any mood swing on level BAD  yet?

Maybe that was just her.

I know when i'm going crazy.

And I haven't been feeling crazy yet, or maybe not at all because i'm lucky.

When my hormones are going out of control....

I'm lunatic mad. I go emo like...'what is life?!'. I get fucking  super depressed.

It's pretty lame...but...hormones are the boss.
At the moment of being controlled by a mood swing it feels SO RIGHT! no matter how fucking stupid it may be to someone else.
It's like, for no reason, that you are randomly feeling a certain way.
Like...this is the mind , of a mad hormone:

' IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE WHY I AM MAD FOR NO REASON!!! Because I am MAD! "...

Like...are you serious? can I slap you?

Ummmmmmm. So YAY! hahahaha

Room for YAY hormones ONLY.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Time for a new feeling...& can't help being me

Hey!

Como Estas? How are you?

-I am great. haha... I hope you have been too.

Tomorrow I will be going to the Salon!
Stay tuned for selfies ;)

I wish I have been taking more selfies to be honest with you.
I like doing them- except....I only do them when I feel pretty.
I haven't been feeling pretty- so that's why.

I'm hoping my new look...will make me feel different?

I want to feel different.

I feel like a mom!!!!!!!

Not that feeling like a Mom is a bad thing....but....

before I was a Mom, I was Just Linda...

And...I don't know...aha...

Maybe i'm going through weird self mood swings...

but I don't like the way ive been feeling about myself.

I don't feel attractive....? I want to feel attractive.

I want to feel attractive...because if I feel good about myself...

I feel, like, I will be a better girlfriend..?

Or a happier girlfriend I should say.

Alberto says...'before anyone can make you happy, you have to make yourself happy first'

and...I agree.

But then his quote also scares me.

I think......what if I will never be content with myself? Does that mean I will never achieve happiness ??

...The answer is probably. No?

But....I am happy with him...even though i'm not 100% happy with myself.

....Am I supposed to worry!?

Maybe i'm too outspoken about everything.
I think it's okay.

I think it's a good thing...that I can admit to something.
Some people won't do that.

The moment I start to wonder about anything, or feel weird?
I for the most part tell Alberto.

There are no secrets, with my mind...

He knows everything I think about or wonder about.
Even the things that may be upsetting, weird random or crazy.

But, I can't help it....it's HOW I AM!

He should definitely worry the moment he hasn't heard something
about what I've been thinking in a week.

But....that day wont come. Because I always speak my mind about something. hah!

Even if i'm depressed....you would think I would be silent? to myself? Heck no. He will know i'm depressed because I will tell
him I don't feel good. and..." I think i'm depressed"..

haha..

It's happened before.


Wednesday, January 18, 2017

bye bye christmas tree

......I feel like a badass for chopping that Christmas tree to pieces.

Except....I don't know? was it worth it? because my hands are itchy

and sting from all the small cuts it left my hands.... :[

..........I'm still pretty cool'

I was sweating! my sister was like...

" Shouldn't you take a break now? you done so much already"

I told her...." only the weak, take breaks" -___-...JustKidding.

I didn't tell her anything. hah!

I didn't take a break though.






Emmitt, Emmitt, Emmitt...

When I was working out...Emmitt couldn't stop laughing. haha

I think he thought I was playing Ninja with him. ???

He would also go, " EHH!!!!" because he wanted to play with my dumbbells.

He couldn't carry them both- only one of them. He would try to lift it up in the air like I did.

It was supah' darn cute.

Except- I feel like he might need his own...otherwise, he won't leave me alone.

I'll have to make him his own- and color it purple too, so he can know they are the "same"

Toddlers aren't dumb.....

I gave him an empty waterbottle..and he gave me the death stare...like saying...

" Mom. I know these two are different, you can't fool me"

OMG!!!!!! and today he told me the truth....and I called him a liar...

Am I mean? is it mean that I called my son a liar? he's so young.

It always feels like Easter....except, instead of hunting for candy eggs...I am searching for my sons

Teta ( his baby bottle)....

I searched ALL over the house, every nook and cranny- until I got desperate...and asked

Emmitt, " Baby, where is your Teta?" he rubbed his belly and looked at me...and then he pointed

under the couch...

I bent down and didn't see anything? So I asked him again..." Emmitt, where's Teta?? I can't find it. Help Mommy find your Teta please"...

He bends down and looks under the couch...and points..and goes, "yeh"...

I look down again....and didn't see anything.

I laughed because it was so cute how he as actually trying to help me find his bottle...

it was so cute how he persisted it was under the couch.

I grabbed him..I kissed him...and told him he was so cute...but that he was a liar because I didn't see anything.

I searched the house for a good hour....and then I gave up....

And then I got a bit sad, because I really WANTED to find that darn bottle.

When my brothers came...I asked, " have you seen Emmitts  green bottle?"

"Nope" they both say....

Then I told my brother Luis how funny it was how Emmitt kept pointing under the couch...

and even kneeling down to look under and point...but that I didn't find anything.

He said.." well, did you look under the couch?"

" Yes, like 3 times, it's not there. I told Emmitt to stop lying"

He bent down to look under the couch...and then he said...

" Emmitt was right! it is under the couch, it's right there!" He grabs it and gives it to me...

" Now, you owe Emmitt an apology. He was right the whole time haha"

" OMG MY BABYYY!!!!' I grab Emmitt and squeeze the heck out of him..

I kiss him hard all over his face " I'm so sorry Monish! You weren't lieing to me, and I called you a liar! ..............I'm sorry my precious baby!i love you so much!"

Lately, he doesn't mind my many kisses :)

So I kiss him a heckload.

I sometimes have to control myself from kissing him TOO  MUCH.

I tell him, " give me a hug! or...'dame un beso!' and he comes towards me  with a shy face and buries his head onto me....he knows when I ask for a hug or a kiss...that it means some lovin for him'
he acts like he doesn't want a hug or a kiss- but that boy is so spoiled with love, that he cant be without it.

ABOUT HIS BEDTIME!

Emmitt sleeps with me on my bed.  The pros about sleeping on the same bed are that I feel like he's extra safe with me. I get to cover him up quickly when he takes off his blanket in the middle of the night. I can feel every move he makes. I remember when Emmitt was a newborn, I couldn't sleep because I was scared of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)....and, it's no weird, that I still fear that, till NOW. He isn't an infant anymore, but I still fear it.
Sometimes I will  use the flashlight in the middle of the night to see if he is still breathing. If he is alive.

He scares me so much when he takes his blanket off in the night. I can't sleep sometimes...because I am scared that I wont feel it, when he is taking the blanket off. I fear that he will literally freeze to death.

Every night, it is a routine. He takes his blanket off, 4-5 times in the night.
But the thing is, as soon as he takes the blanket off, I cannot put it on him right away, or he will wake up and cry, and take the blanket off again.

I have to wait 10-15 minutes.....until he is in a deeper sleep.
Then I get to cover him up again- and sleep in peace!

Sometimes though, I am SUPER SUPER exhausted....usually my exhausting days are when he isn't feeling too well, it practically means, NO SLEEP FOR ME...

And when he takes off his blanket...I know I have to wait a few minutes, but I tell myself,
to close my eyes, and that i'll get up when those minutes are over to cover him up.

But.....I've woken up to....an hour later.....and...that's when I get my flashlight and freak out,
I touch him to make sure he is alive, and it makes me feel horrible for waking up late...because his hands and face were cold :'(!!!!

It makes me feel like the worse mother....knowing my baby was cold sleeping, while I was warm.

Emmitt takes off his blanket because he hates them...haha....but I wish he just didn't take them off.

It would save me a great deal of peace.

Every night i'm thinking, " BLANKET!"



SO....yes, there's a lot of pros, I would say. But, that was my most important one, feeling like he is safer next to me.

NOW, the CONS!

He will NOT sleep....if he knows I am not on the bed -____-

He's had a horrible bedtime....and so I've been trying to put him to bed early...and

the only thing I struggle with is that he will not sleep unless he feels me close to him, on the bed.

Soo0o0o......I have been "pretending" that I am sleeping next to him...and then I get to leave him alone when I FOR SURE know that he is completely knocked out. That is, until I get to hear him snore like his father. haha!

I miss his Dad all the time! but when I hear Emmitt snore, it's like... yup! it feels like he's here too
I mean, Emmitt is a part of him. He's a part of us both.

But! the hardest part is.....when it's like 11....and Emmitt is screaming crying because he notices he is alone on the bed.....

I have to AGAIN pretend to sleep with him.... except, it takes like....a longer time for him to go back to bed.

I mean, so far, it's been working, so I have nothing to complain about.

It's just.....well, what if I want to have date night with babe sometime?!

Whoever will be putting him to sleep, WILL STRUGGLE.

That's my only concern.






















Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The weeknd- party monster




This is a good song for working out.

Starboy ( Live from the Victoria secret fashion show 2016 in paris)




Sooo.....Selena Gomez!? I told Alberto and he thought it was a bit weird too..haha.

Bella! I liked her more for him. They looked about the same age...haha...

And it's also weird that hes like 25 or 26?! Wtf?! he looks way older.


AND, Adriana Lima looks so gorgeous when she comes out on the runway.

I remember when me and Alberto were picking Top 3 hottest girl and guys...and I told him that I knew for sure he would pick Adriana Lima. But he said NAH!.

I was so surprised...." what why?!" he said..." she's too over-rated"....Too popular I guess.

I remember looking at him like..." I am a negative 5....while she is the perfect 10, he'd be way to blessed to have Adriana Lima be his girlfriend...and here he is going NAH about her. PFFT! Shall I remind him what number I am compared to her?! NEGATIVE 5!!! aw, but he loves me too much. He better not trade me with her, even if he could have the chance"

Monday, January 16, 2017

you shouldn't say YES, even it's its super romantic

I visualize...that when a guy proposes to me...

it's because he is MADLY in LOVE with me.

If  not. Then, DON'T YOU DARE get on your fucking knees  -__-

Also...not to marry me, for financial reasons? What!? No. Stay away -__-

 A lot of people know me for being a hopeless Romantic.

It's true. I like that kind of stuff...

but visualize this!...me  saying NO to a proposal no matter how cute it is

if my heart isn't feeling that the person is doing it for the sake of LOVE.

I'm REALLY good, at feelings.

I can read people, and also my gut instinct is on point.

I will say no,

You don't believe me! but i will say No!!!

I want to marry the LOVE OF MY LIFE!

Not someone who is bleh about loving me.

I want to be proposed too....because the other person feels like I'm their other half.
I want the guy to be crazy about me....about being with me for the rest of their life, because they couldn't picture it any other way.

You know? something cheesy like that. That's like classic cheese though.

And....i don't ever want to get a divorce.

So..... , "getting a divorce" shouldn't be in my future husbands plan anyway. 

Or like I'm about to say...DONT YOU EVER PROPOSE THEN-___-
only...." what can i do to make things better?" guy.

I am pretty serious as i am, as a girlfriend....so i can only imagine how much

more serious i will be about the person, if i marry them.

Vows are serious to me.

I mean, they should be to ANYONE getting married. but, nowadays...

it's like gambling...

wonder too much

I wonder who we'd be with, if we weren't dating?

He would ask that.

I told him he would have probably ended up with someone from his college.

I don't think he would have had a girlfriend though....haha...just like going

here and there mostly.

Me!? I would hope I would have just one person still.

I'm not a fan of dating a guy...then...... getting excuses from the guy(s) on why

they aren't ready for anything serious....they were seriously all about YOLO....

it was  fucking annoying.

Dating guys was sad, it was disappointing, it was exhausting.

So.....his question....who would I have been with, if we weren't dating?
.....
I would tell him...." idk!?"....

....because I don't know.

The answer would be.......whichever guy actually wanted to be with me, back.

If one of those guys I dated after our big breakup asked me to be their girlfriend....

I would probably still be with them now. Emmitt wouldn't have been born, and being with Alberto wouldn't have happened....

My life, would have been COMPLETELY different.....

I wouldn't be a Mom? haha....

........................but my life, is the way it is now, because those other guys,
were way too late, to see how great of a catch I was...and am....

I would have been a great girlfriend to them. I'm a loyal son of a bitch.

I don't think there's a lot of faithful people out there in the world to be honest. It's scary.

I'm completely old school.......and sometimes it scares me, because Alberto isn't

old school like I am.

Yes, I believe he is faithful.....but I worry about him sometimes.....therefore....I cannot

say, that I believe he is 100% faithful....? I think it's because

our definitions of cheating, are completely different.

I told him that when he graduates...I think he should do something for himself...and

go out on a vacation....I told him he needed it. That it would be fun for him.

He agreed and said that he is considering it...

My heart smiled...but then it also hurt a little...because i visualized him dirty dancing

with a girl .... or going to a bar...and talking to a girl....

The paranoid side of me, told me...that it was going to be okay, because

If i ever found out he danced with a girl....or anything more than that.

Yes, it would hurt....but i would hope he would be honest with me, and tell me

what happened. Honesty means a lot.

If i can be faithful to him....and for whatever reason, he cannot with me,

then it means he doesn't care about me, the same way.

So...what's the worse that can happen? Moving on, although it will hurt.

And, then,  i became relaxed.




















the botanical garden

Yesterday we went to the gardens again!

It was nice, we weren't exhausted like last time. I think wearing the proper shoes
made a difference. Also, it wasn't hot like last time.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Bebe Rexha- i got you




SHES SO FREAKING HOT!.

Alberto thinks I'm a lesbian sometimes when I see a hot girl, and say, "shes hot"...

-____-

But, No, I am not a lesbian.

I just know a smokin' girl when I see one- and don't mind saying it :]

Why do I have to keep my opinions to myself when I can blurt It out loud? YAH KNOW?

I mean, I bet a lot of people know when someone is good looking- but they keep it to themselves.

I wont keep it to myself...haha....

I think I've blurted hot girls to Alberto more than I have about guys?

But.....that's because not a lot of guys that I see are even hot?!

There's more ugly guys out there, than I think there are pretty girls.

And I also think my loyalty to Alberto blinds me completely from MEN, even if they so happen to be Good looking. HAHAHA!..

Damn right this bitch is loyal!


Imagine my sister was like..." that guy was really hot!"

and I was like.." he was? dayum- I didn't even see...."

TO A HOT GUY-------It's like...'Wait, what? you're hot? oh I'm sorry... I didn't notice. My guy is so hot to me, that nothing beats his face. I'm just so in love with it- you know?'

We did so much walking today

We hung out this morning- and lemme' just tell you
how exhausted I am, SUPER.

I think I might be getting sick. hah

My son is sick, therefore, I'd like to raise my hand and say, " I think me too"

We also walked his two dogs- I mean, technically I wasn't walking any of the dogs, because I was following behind them with Emmitt in his stroller...but I felt like I was walking
100 dogs.....so..... it's the same thing...hehe

" babe?? when are we turning back??" I think I said that a million times.

" are we almost home?" also like a million times.

The highlight of the dog walking was when Tyke took a sh*t as he was walking...
Alberto had no clue! haha....Me and his brother were like, " Alberto! oh gawd! he's pooping!"

He completely had no idea and kept walking the dog.....which was funny.

And the dog was funny too. He was like meeee and wanted to take a bunch of breaks.
The dog would lay on some grass like saying, " alright- well, I ain't moving no more" -_-